I am exhausted. It hurts a bit. Drugs do well to make that pain go away. Though, they also make me sleepy as anything.
I remember waking up around three a.m. Monday evening wondering if there was a burrow for sale in the Hundred Acre Wood somewhere near Piglet and Pooh where I could just climb in, close the door, and hide for a while.
I was very afraid. This surgery makes the fear of this cancer all the more real. Not that I wasn’t convinced after all of the different fingers and probes checking out my anus weren’t enough to convince me of my reality. It’s that each step along the way brings the reality of chemoradiation that much nearer.
More later. When I am awake.