Still Small Voice

I use my tablet as my Tanach.  I can no longer hold a book for any length of time.  Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and whatever else is at work against me in the darkness beneath my skin. yeah.  blah. blah. blah.

I keep one of my son’s ‘moleskin’ note books under my tablet held in by elastic corner bands of the case I keep that in.  I do this for when I think of things I would like to remember when reading on my Tablet, more often as not, while participating in my weekly Torah study.

This Saturday morning’s parasha was of B’reshit Vayishlach/Genesis 35:16-36:8.  What exactly triggered the upcoming line of thought is unclear to me now.  I just remember there was conversation leading up to the Rabbi saying something about “the still small voice.”  An earlier morning this week appeared before me.

Before I lost my thought I wrote this down.  Whether it is any good will have to be for the reader to decide.

Yesterday I awoke early.  Resisting.

I lay aware of the warmth under my covers.  Staying still.  Resisting.

My bladder had a LOUD, strong voice: Greater than that warmth-desire.

I raise myself. Exposing skin to the sharp, cold of early morning.  Just rising up allowed my bladder to loosen.  I better stumble faster.  The bathroom is a long way from the starting point and I am unsteady.  Pinball problem.  I am the ball in the machine of groggy mornings.

The curtains still drawn closed on my brain.  A hand reaches forward to open the darkened drapes overcoming the gripes against lifting my eyes to the morning.

The lid curtains flutter open as I pull them apart a sky is awakening.

In grand fashion of striking white edged long dark blue clouds washing across a brightening fire-orange background of sky.

I stood before the window on the world, still arguing with myself.  suddenly, I realized there was recognition this panorama was that still small voice.

“Ok, god,” I said to myself.  “I get it.  I am getting up.  I hear you, g-d or whatever.”

Bladder voice (I ought to give it a name beside “bladder”.  Because, it wakes me from sleep a few times EVERY night.) I lay there discussing with my bladder whether to rise often through the night, as well as, the day.  I am on such intimate terms with my “bladder” I wonder why it’s name is only bladder.  Maybe Gertrude, or Bernice, or Vivienne, or Arnold, or Zani would be better.

FYI:  I did get up.  I did go to the pool for the 9:00 a.m. aquacise class.  I did not get home until, shortly after 4 p.m. that day just to walk the dog and finally to get back home, eat, and fall into my La-Z-Girl chair and not move.  At least, until Gertrude started yelling!


About mishl53

Pro-Choice, Pro-Women, Pro-Social Programs, Pro-Fiscal Responsibility, Pro-Common Sense Return to Government and USA Society.
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