I was so excited, silly as this may be, to see the new Shrek3 drinking glasses from McDonald’s. As soon as they came out I bought the full set of four. They were really sturdy substantial glasses. I couldn’t wait to get them home and check them out. I had not actually seen any of the glasses when I bought them. I had only seen them on the television advertisements (marketing WORKS!) by McDonald’s.
It was just a few days later I decided I had to have the full set of glasses. Was there an excuse I had used to justify my getting kids glasses? Well, my nieces do come down and visit occasionally. Besides, I really do like Shrek. I was prepared emotionally to get the glasses the next time I had a Big Mac attack.
A few days later I finally had to. I succumbed to McDonald’s taste addiction and Shrek3 advertisements. I planned to get the glasses when I went by McDonald’s on my way home from wherever it was I had been. I wasn’t going to get food. I know how bad it is for me. I allow myself to eat McDonald’s no more than once a week. Less if I can control myself. I was obviously just kidding myself. Of course, I was going to fulfill my deepest desire for a Big Mac.
So, on my way home I went through the drive-through to get a truly bad for me, Big Mac. I ordered the glasses just like I do my french fries. It seemed funny. Odd really. I mean I don’t usually order dishware from my car yelling into a speaker with alluring pictures of tempting burgers, fries, and hot cherry pies surrounding the mechanical box.
With no hesitation I asked which glasses they had. They often only have one at a time in order to keep you coming back for the full set. So, I asked which one they had. The slightly distorted voice emanating from the black circled grill assured me they had all four. YAY!!!! I happily ordered the set of four. I drove up to the pay window and handed the young woman with her hand out the small window set slightly above me my debit card. While the glasses were not cheap in comparison to glasses I could buy at my local Fred Meyer Grocery, clothing, hardware, electronics, and myriad assorted other items I was lulled in by the Shrek movies and brand. Though, at $1.99 each they were in no way expensive. I paid, then drove forward, as usual, to pick up my lunch and glasses. Not just any glasses, SHREK3 GLASSES!!! How cool is this?!!! I wondered how they would package the glasses. Would they come in a cardboard four-pack drink holder? Would they be individually bubble wrapped? Would they be wrapped in the tough plastic they use to protect their Happy Meal toys? I was trying to figure this out. Not exactly sure why I think this way. It is just something I do. Try to figure stuff out. Meaningless to the crucial. Scientific research done in my own head in no particular form or fashion. Just whatever hits me.
I thought, “This is odd.” I didn’t expect them to come to me wrapped like this. “I hope they don’t break. It’s a good thing I am going straight home.” Good thing Home is only three blocks away. So, the glasses, well, I assumed they were the Shrek glasses I had ordered, because I couldn’t see them. One-by-one the glasses came out of the window I get my food from (suddenly this sounds really freaky to me. You know, getting your food from a tall narrow open window from someone I have never met and will likely never meet. Prison or Star – detached from life or reality.) Anyway, the hand reaching out to me from the window is a brown, chunky, female hand, clean looking with short fingernails. Each glass was separately wrapped in a McDonald’s food bag. One by one the glasses came through the window. Basically, I bought the glasses sight unseen. Okay, so I got all four glasses and put them each on the floor board of my passenger seat. (There is a term no longer relevant, though adaptively meaningful just the same. Floor Boards. How many decades has it been since the floor of a car was even made of wooden boards?) Suddenly, I worried they would roll around. So, while the woman in the window was poised leaning out to me to give me the last of the four glasses I decided to put them in my passenger seat with my purse shoved up against them. My thinking was that my purse would hold them in place as it is pretty heavy. Patient with me the woman in the window finally gets to release the last glass and my Big Mac, fries, and milk to me.
So, now I have to drive home worrying about whether I am going to have to stomp on the brakes. Of course, showing in vivid better than Technicolor on my mental movie screen I see all the glasses sliding to their sides and tipping over to roll off the seat and crash and splinter on the floor. The images evoke feelings of anger, loss, sadness, and many other emotions. Over glasses? It isn’t like this actually happened either. Whew, that little panic moment passes with the more reasonable me prevailing over the frightened me inside.
I get them home and unwrap them even before I take my Big Mac out of it’s bag. Damn it smells good. THEY ARE ADORABLE. Each one has a different scene from Shrek3. As I look at them, I see the scenes are painted on the exterior of each glass. I turn the glass over to see the Made in China logo. Damn, couldn’t they have found a factory to have made these in the USA? Apparently, somehow it is cheaper to have the glasses produced overseas, trucked through their city or town, to their local port, packed into cargo containers, have the cargo containers lifted from the dock on to the deck of the gigantic cargo container ship, and motored across the Pacific Ocean to the nearest West Coast port, (at least, I presume they came to the West Coast and not somewhere further from us than that. What the hell is the carbon footprint of each of these friggin’ glasses?). Then, lifted off the cargo ship, onto the USA dock, loaded onto a truck and shipped to a central warehouse where they are unpacked and distributed to other trucks to drive to the individual outlets.) Where was I? Oh yeah, I looked the glasses over. The instant I saw the Made in China stamp I asked myself whether McDonald’s really checked the paint for lead, cadmium, melamine, or some other bad chemical famously and frequently used in Chinese manufacturing products. I answered myself that surely McDonald’s would have. I mean wouldn’t they? They must have. Especially, considering they have had this problem more than once before with their Chinese made Happy Meal toys. Satisfied with that little internal conversation I happily washed the glasses and used one for my milk with my Big Mac, and fries.
I was really impressed with their weight, size, and decorations. The glass walls were thick, the base was thick and sturdy, and they fit in my hand pretty well. And, to make me even more happy I bought them they held a large volume of liquid. I really hate the little 8 or 6 ounce glasses. I never drink that little milk or water. I think these must be 12 or 16 ounces at least.
As I began to use them I found these hidden sayings from the movie inserted into the pattern. I really like the Highlights kids magazine Can You Find It? section (or whatever it is called). This was just like that. So, now it was a game. I am now compelled to find all the hidden sayings that were worked into the scene as if they were naturally the grass growing or the sunshine rays, etc. It was fun, creative, and cute. No, I have no kids at home, anymore. This was all for me. The simplest things really do amuse me.
The Shrek3 glasses had instantly melded themselves into my daily routine. I was drinking from these glasses almost exclusively. I don’t remember how many weeks the glasses were my favorites, before I heard on one of my local TV news at noon report alert me to the recall of McDonald’s Shrek3 drinking glasses. “Damn IT! What the fuck is wrong with the Chinese that they think this is acceptable production technique.” I am actually shocked that it happened again. And, to McDonald’s! How stupid is this?” Clearly, McDonald’s must not have done any independent testing to ensure the safety of these glasses. Even after the history of lead and cadmium in Happy Meal toys over the years from their Chinese manufacturers.
I still want those silly SHREK3 glasses. Without the harmful chemicals, of course. It just pisses me off that the Chinese are continually hired by various national and international companies to produce items we use every day at ridiculously low rates because they pay ridiculously low wages and have, what I am lead to beleive are dangerous and just bad working environments. But, how do you avoid buying Made in China? It is pretty unreal. The items are everywhere. Seriously, every-fucking-where.
I try hard not to buy these types of items. We Americans need jobs. How else are we supposed to have any type of economy and how else can it grow. We cannot continue to be a consumer based society. We must reclaim the world stature we once held. Bush2 really screwed us big. But, this is a rant for another day.